Forgive me bloggers, for I have failed you, it has been about 2 years since my last entry. I would like to say that it was because I was so busy living it up that I didn't have time to document...but the reality was that I was just fucking busy.
It's a new year...full of new life and rebirth and bullshit bullshit...
but continuing on my positive word mantra I add to the list:
2013: Reflect & Relate
2012: Focus & Motivation
2011: Forgiveness & Love
A lot has changed.
Correction, a lot about ME has changed. OR maybe nothings changed, I'm just aware?
It's going to take me some time to work up to sharing the most recent life changing event. I really was just checking to see if I could remember my password to this thing...see if anyone has anything awesome to share...
...and the answer is no...
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Motivation 0, Procrastination 1,000,000,072
So, this motivation and focus thing was a great idea but christ...
I have been home from work for 3 hours and have:
-watched 3 episodes of Party Down
-made some kale chips (which took all of 15 minutes)
-checked facebook 27 times
-checked my email 6 times
-sent 19 text messages
-played with my dog
What I COULD have been doing:
-reading about Abe Lincoln
-painting or drawing
-laundry
-painting my nails
-looking up tasty veggie recipes
-crocheting or knitting
I really could have been doing anything, but no, I get sucked into the f*ing couch and can't move...I"m not even motivated enough to finish this blog...i keep getting distracted with silly things...
I DID manage to do may taxes before April 16th this year, but I'm very disappointed in the refund I'll be getting. But, after I file my 2009 taxes (yeah, I know) I'll have a nice little bit of cash to put into savings, should I ever need to catch a flight out of town.
I also ate meat...on day 5 (the superbowl and a certain boys 25th birthday). I ate bacon wrapped chicken covered in hot sauce...It tasted fine, but I feel guilty...
What else...OH! I'm going back to Montana. I know you are all surprised.
That's all for now...off to bed I go!
I have been home from work for 3 hours and have:
-watched 3 episodes of Party Down
-made some kale chips (which took all of 15 minutes)
-checked facebook 27 times
-checked my email 6 times
-sent 19 text messages
-played with my dog
What I COULD have been doing:
-reading about Abe Lincoln
-painting or drawing
-laundry
-painting my nails
-looking up tasty veggie recipes
-crocheting or knitting
I really could have been doing anything, but no, I get sucked into the f*ing couch and can't move...I"m not even motivated enough to finish this blog...i keep getting distracted with silly things...
I DID manage to do may taxes before April 16th this year, but I'm very disappointed in the refund I'll be getting. But, after I file my 2009 taxes (yeah, I know) I'll have a nice little bit of cash to put into savings, should I ever need to catch a flight out of town.
I also ate meat...on day 5 (the superbowl and a certain boys 25th birthday). I ate bacon wrapped chicken covered in hot sauce...It tasted fine, but I feel guilty...
What else...OH! I'm going back to Montana. I know you are all surprised.
That's all for now...off to bed I go!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Two Thousand Fucking Twelve
Happy new year, fellow bloggers and blog readers!
It's been a few months...lots has changed...but I won't bore you with the details, here's the cliff notes:
-i really like my job
-i rescued a dog
-i got a new car
-i like a boy
-i really like myself
So, it's a new year which means new resolutions...this year, in addition to forgiveness and love, I've added motivation and focus...which i'm now initiating...this first day of february, 2012.
In addition to these inspirational words, i've decided to make a new resolution every month...January flew by so...I'm starting today!
This month, I vow to:
-Take the stairs, always
-Not eat meat, because I've realized I want to know where my food is coming from
-Focus on training this beast of a dog that I love more than anything
-Save money
I'm also going to have breakfast every Saturday morning out in public, whether it be with my favorite boy or by myself. I've realized that I would much rather spend my Friday and Saturday nights in and enjoy my Saturday and Sunday mornings NOT hung over, with great company or a book, and a great cup of coffee and just enjoy being alive.
I'm also going to say "NO" more. So don't take that personally....I often get invited to go somewhere or to do something that I don't want to do because i'm too tired or don't have the money for so, I'm just going to say no. AND not feel guilty about it.
Also, i'm going to blog more...but I still hate that word...blog...blah....ggggh
It's been a few months...lots has changed...but I won't bore you with the details, here's the cliff notes:
-i really like my job
-i rescued a dog
-i got a new car
-i like a boy
-i really like myself
So, it's a new year which means new resolutions...this year, in addition to forgiveness and love, I've added motivation and focus...which i'm now initiating...this first day of february, 2012.
In addition to these inspirational words, i've decided to make a new resolution every month...January flew by so...I'm starting today!
This month, I vow to:
-Take the stairs, always
-Not eat meat, because I've realized I want to know where my food is coming from
-Focus on training this beast of a dog that I love more than anything
-Save money
I'm also going to have breakfast every Saturday morning out in public, whether it be with my favorite boy or by myself. I've realized that I would much rather spend my Friday and Saturday nights in and enjoy my Saturday and Sunday mornings NOT hung over, with great company or a book, and a great cup of coffee and just enjoy being alive.
I'm also going to say "NO" more. So don't take that personally....I often get invited to go somewhere or to do something that I don't want to do because i'm too tired or don't have the money for so, I'm just going to say no. AND not feel guilty about it.
Also, i'm going to blog more...but I still hate that word...blog...blah....ggggh
Monday, August 22, 2011
and Another Summer Ends...More New Beginnings
So...a week ago today, I:
- finished up my last load of laundry and packed
- cooked dinner with my house mates
- watched Anchor Man with a group of amazing new friends
- drank some whiskey, wine, and vodka
- and didn't want to go to sleep knowing in the morning i would have to leave
I know I've said this about a hundred times by know but, I love Whitefish, MT! It's probably the one place where I feel most like myself because I stop focusing on what people think of me, and just focus on me (for the most part). I feel very alive to have made some of the best friends of my life on top of a mountain so it made leaving this year harder than last year, and I imagine it will just keep getting harder the more I return.
So, last Tuesday, I left my summer family and drove 16 hours to Denver. Tears were shed along I-90 as I drove through the mountains and away from yet another memorable summer. I cried because I knew that it would be 42 weeks before I saw some of those people again. And then I cried harder because it might be longer before I saw some of them. And then I laughed when I thought of some of the crazy late nights that were had.
When I arrived to Denver, hugged my awesome cousin for 2 minutes, and crashed.
The next afternoon, I made the jaunt over to Perry, KS to see the family and some very special friends. And even though we don't speak often, when we get together, it's like time hasn't even passed. Except it has because we are all 10 years older and they've all grown into beautiful wives and mothers. I hung out with my niece, making her birthday cupcakes for her classmates. The next day, I had lunch with her at school and realized how much I was missing. My niece turned 9 in no time at all. All of my girlfriends have little ones that are growing up so quickly....
- finished up my last load of laundry and packed
- cooked dinner with my house mates
- watched Anchor Man with a group of amazing new friends
- drank some whiskey, wine, and vodka
- and didn't want to go to sleep knowing in the morning i would have to leave
I know I've said this about a hundred times by know but, I love Whitefish, MT! It's probably the one place where I feel most like myself because I stop focusing on what people think of me, and just focus on me (for the most part). I feel very alive to have made some of the best friends of my life on top of a mountain so it made leaving this year harder than last year, and I imagine it will just keep getting harder the more I return.
So, last Tuesday, I left my summer family and drove 16 hours to Denver. Tears were shed along I-90 as I drove through the mountains and away from yet another memorable summer. I cried because I knew that it would be 42 weeks before I saw some of those people again. And then I cried harder because it might be longer before I saw some of them. And then I laughed when I thought of some of the crazy late nights that were had.
When I arrived to Denver, hugged my awesome cousin for 2 minutes, and crashed.
The next afternoon, I made the jaunt over to Perry, KS to see the family and some very special friends. And even though we don't speak often, when we get together, it's like time hasn't even passed. Except it has because we are all 10 years older and they've all grown into beautiful wives and mothers. I hung out with my niece, making her birthday cupcakes for her classmates. The next day, I had lunch with her at school and realized how much I was missing. My niece turned 9 in no time at all. All of my girlfriends have little ones that are growing up so quickly....
Friday, August 5, 2011
I am NOT 23 anymore...
This was a terribly frightening thing to discover this last Wednesday morning, when I woke up in my car, with it running, with the heat on...I know, I know what you're thinking. I'm not proud of this and actually quite embarrassed, but I thought I would share it anyways...part of growing up I guess...
A group of us went to karaoke, something that I would do nightly when I actually was 23. When I was 23 (and yes, it's weird to think that it was 6 years ago) my buddy AK and I would go to a different bar each night just for the karaoke, the summer after I graduated. Mostly to drink, we often sang, and find an after-party (usually one that we organized)...nightly. This, though it was extremely fun, was me probably at my absolute lowest point in life...I attribute this to being young, dumb and scared. This is a summer that I only remember when people remind me of a situation...this was a summer where I could drink an entire box of Franzia in one night, by myself...yeah.
So, something was triggered in my brain, to make me drink far too much too fast, dance obscenely on a stripper pole (clothes on, thank god)...maybe it was the terrible singing, or the "i'll buy this round, you buy the next round" but I just got ridiculous. Did I have fun, yes. Did it end in embarrassment, YES. Have I grown up, yes...barely.
When I was 23, the night usually ended around 5am, in tears, stumbling home soaking wet from swimming in some apartment pool until the sun began to rise. This last Wednesday, I am unclear of exactly when my night ended, due to an after "hang" (I only say hang because 4 people were present) but after checking the 76 odd texts I sent and received through my sunglasses then next morning, with probably the worst hangover I've ever had...I can almost piece together my evening...
A group of us went to karaoke, something that I would do nightly when I actually was 23. When I was 23 (and yes, it's weird to think that it was 6 years ago) my buddy AK and I would go to a different bar each night just for the karaoke, the summer after I graduated. Mostly to drink, we often sang, and find an after-party (usually one that we organized)...nightly. This, though it was extremely fun, was me probably at my absolute lowest point in life...I attribute this to being young, dumb and scared. This is a summer that I only remember when people remind me of a situation...this was a summer where I could drink an entire box of Franzia in one night, by myself...yeah.
So, something was triggered in my brain, to make me drink far too much too fast, dance obscenely on a stripper pole (clothes on, thank god)...maybe it was the terrible singing, or the "i'll buy this round, you buy the next round" but I just got ridiculous. Did I have fun, yes. Did it end in embarrassment, YES. Have I grown up, yes...barely.
When I was 23, the night usually ended around 5am, in tears, stumbling home soaking wet from swimming in some apartment pool until the sun began to rise. This last Wednesday, I am unclear of exactly when my night ended, due to an after "hang" (I only say hang because 4 people were present) but after checking the 76 odd texts I sent and received through my sunglasses then next morning, with probably the worst hangover I've ever had...I can almost piece together my evening...
Saturday, July 30, 2011
WHEW....
Ok...so, just like last year, when I started this "blog" (sorry to those who read this often for the lack of updates) I was vowing to start anew. And I did! I moved to Austin to be with a group of friends that I value artistically, to help run a theatre company. In the mean time, I;
-met some pretty awesome people
-found some really great job opportunities
-finally let go of some unhealthy feelings for someone
And then I come back here, back to the place that put me in the right mindset to get back to just being and even MORE amazing things happen. I'm sad to say that I had to leave the theatre company I moved to Austin for, but for now it's what's right for me. Also, since being here, I had my motherboard in my computer replaced not once, but twice resulting in the loss of ALL of my data...BUT one really amazing woodwind playing friend also happens to be a computer genius found close to all of it and then some...and then, out of the blue I got a call from Ballet Austin, offering me a position in the costume shop?!?!?! Yeah...so you are now reading the blog of the new costume shop assistant/shoe manager at Ballet Austin!!! I'm going to get a salary and benefits and vacation...like a real adult!!
My mother always says, "everything happens for a reason"
So that's been my life, in a nutshell, thus far...i'll have more exciting things to write about soon...like blacking out on my birthday/opening night...
-met some pretty awesome people
-found some really great job opportunities
-finally let go of some unhealthy feelings for someone
And then I come back here, back to the place that put me in the right mindset to get back to just being and even MORE amazing things happen. I'm sad to say that I had to leave the theatre company I moved to Austin for, but for now it's what's right for me. Also, since being here, I had my motherboard in my computer replaced not once, but twice resulting in the loss of ALL of my data...BUT one really amazing woodwind playing friend also happens to be a computer genius found close to all of it and then some...and then, out of the blue I got a call from Ballet Austin, offering me a position in the costume shop?!?!?! Yeah...so you are now reading the blog of the new costume shop assistant/shoe manager at Ballet Austin!!! I'm going to get a salary and benefits and vacation...like a real adult!!
My mother always says, "everything happens for a reason"
So that's been my life, in a nutshell, thus far...i'll have more exciting things to write about soon...like blacking out on my birthday/opening night...
Monday, June 20, 2011
Back To Myself...Only Better
Whew...it's been a while. Things in my life have been pretty crazy as of late BUT I'm enjoying every second of it!
I'm back in Whitefish, MT where I first started finding myself again. And I must say that right now, this is the best place for me. I love Austin, but I'm so happy to be surrounded by indescribable beauty, wonderfully talented, passionate people.
I'm back in Whitefish, MT where I first started finding myself again. And I must say that right now, this is the best place for me. I love Austin, but I'm so happy to be surrounded by indescribable beauty, wonderfully talented, passionate people.
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